The Inaugural Wedding Meltdown

On the previous episode of my life in wedding planning, we decided to put our feet down and locked down DC and a big ole wedding shindig as the way we would celebrate our marriage.

A couple of days later, I got my tax return. Now, I don't know about you but my tax returns sure don't look like they used to! Being a grownup is so overrated. Well that seemingly irrelevant occurrence led me down wedding meltdown aisle. You see, I had plans for my return and uh, what I got wasn't enough to accomplish those plans. It threw a wrench in my wedding saving plan. So I, again, thought to myself, this is just so much money to save, then spend on one day and I'm putting other financial goals on hold for a year to accomplish it. Sure we could do it, but that doesn't mean we should.

By the time, Mr. Bronx arrived home, that little seed in my brain turned into -i'msosickofplanningthisweddingit'sdrainingmyenergyandwehaven'tevenreallystartedandit'ssomuchmoneytospendandidon'tknowifit'sreallyworthit - ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!

After he looked at me like I had 85 heads, I more calmly explained to him my frustrations then suggested that we do a small wedding for 50 guests followed by a meal and called it a day. Being the great groom he is, he said he'd be fine with that.

Great! Problem solved.

Nope! Not even 5 minutes later, I was taken over by a feeling that we may regret not having a big party. A celebration with dancing and jubilation and music was always part of our vision. I started to think that if we went the intimate wedding route we would miss the big bash. Wheels were turning, back and forth, back and forth in my brain. Then I simply said to Mr. Bronx, won't you miss being introduced at the reception? And he simply responded, "I would."

That was it. The decision was made. After having the whining meltdown, with my emotions ALL over the place, we ended up right where we began (again)! If you are keeping count that's the 5th time we went around this merry-go-round. In the end, it was a simple answer to a simple question that made it clear what direction we should go.

So the inaugural meltdown has a happy ending. I'm glad we had all the waffling though because I feel sure in that we actually thought it through and this is what WE want not what we feel is expected of us. Venue search, here we come!

Oh where, oh where shall the wedding be?

The Mr. and I met, live, and love in DC. Interestingly enough, the majority of our families live in NY (shout out to BX and BK). I grew up in North Jersey, where my immediate family and a few NY converts now live.

Contrary to popular belief (thanks a lot MTV), I don't look or act like this:

Source

But I digress. We had some decisions to make.

If we decided to have the wedding in DC, 85% of our guest list would be from out of town. We love the idea of showing everyone a rocking good time at this place we call home and we both love. It's not like we live in the middle of nowhere. It's the nation's capital. Come visit because it's our wedding and it's the friggin' nation's capital so you should!

Then we got to thinking, we could bear the burden of travel and host the wedding back home. We got excited about this for about 5 and a half minutes. The thought of planning from a distance didn't appeal to me and frankly, the NY tri-state area is pretty expensive much like DC. It's not like we'd be saving money by having the wedding there and it would probably cause us some logistical headaches. So we benched it.

Then we got knee deep into budget and threw a fit about what a full blown DC wedding would cost us. We toyed with the idea of doing a small ceremony with our nearest and dearest (~50) in DC and a large reception a couple of weeks later in NY/NJ. The idea being that perhaps some money could be saved since there would be no rehearsal dinner, etc. and the party wouldn't have to be so fancy. I researched once again and found that even still the prices for that type of function in NY/NJ were about the same as a full blown reception in DC. Plus, there would be two photographers to hire and the whole long-distance planning thing. I asked Mr Bronx if he would be willing to downgrade the venue if we went this route. Then I got - the face.

You know, this one.

Source

Did I mention he has a bit of groomzilla streak? Well, 'nother day, 'nother post. In short, Mr. Bronx has a vision for our wedding day and "not so nice catering hall," ain't it. So once again, that idea was scrapped.

Finally, after some debate, deliberation, and waffling, we put our feet down. A DC wedding it shall be and we should have known it all along! Done and settled, right? Not so fast! Soon after, I had my first wedding meltdown. Stay tuned...